


Name Change Game, The

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-06-17
Updated: 2006-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-31 10:48:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15117770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: "You worked your ass off to become who you are... I at least deserve to use it to get a good seat at crowded, fancy restaurants."





	Name Change Game, The

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Leo McGarry had been at his desk for forty minutes, reading the same page over and over. “This can’t possibly be right,” he mumbled under his breath. 

“Leo?”

“Yeah,” he said distractedly, thumbing through the report, yet again.

“Leo?” 

“Yeah, Margaret.” 

“Leo?” 

“I’m sitting right here, Margaret,” he reminded her as he kept reading.

“Leo?”

Leo finally looked up, “Margaret, what’s the problem?” 

“There's a guy out here.” 

“‘Out here?’”

“In my office.”

“Yeah, okay,” he paused waiting for her to finish. “So does the guy have a name?” 

“Um. I dunno.” 

“What do you mean you don’t know?” She was staring right through him. 

“Margaret, are you all right?” 

“He looks just like you.” 

“Margaret . . .” 

“When did you and Josie get divorced?”

“Margaret, what is wrong with you?” he said, his forehead a study in confusion.

“When did you and Josie get divorced?” 

He pulled off his glasses and leaned back into his chair, “Josie's my sister, not my ex-wife.” 

“Okay. When did you and Mallory get married?” 

“Margaret!” he growled.

“This guy looks just like you!” 

“Margaret, I swear, if you don’t explain what you mean, I’m going to . . .” Leo stopped short, then sat up straight. “Wait a minute, you say this guy looks like me, or just reminds you of me?”

“He’s your twin, Leo!”

Slowly, a knowing grin replaced the scowl on Leo's face as he realized who was standing in Margaret’s office. “Tommy?” he shouted toward the open door as he threw his glasses on the desk. “Tommy, get in here!" 

A duplicate of Leo’s face peeked around the door. “Hey, Leo! What the hell are ya up to?” 

“Getting ready to have my assistant committed for losing her mind on the job,” came the reply as Leo pushed away from his desk and covered the distance between them quickly. “It’s good to see you,” he said as he drew Tommy into a bear hug.

“It’s great to see you too, Leo,” he returned the embrace. “I was worried about ya there for a while.” Tommy whispered, “You can’t keep tempting fate like that. Someday you’re gonna get burnt.”

Leo shrugged, “Guess it wasn’t my time.” 

Tommy held Leo at arm’s length, studying his face, looking for cracks in the armor. “I guess so. But you better hang around a little more with them cats of yours. Ask ‘em to share some of them lives they got.”

“Yeah, well, they hardly know me any more,” he admitted. “Here, let me have your jacket.” Tommy slipped the visitor’s pass off over his head, then slid the pull-over jacket off and handed it to Leo. As he moved toward the coat tree next to the closet, Leo continued, “You know you really rattled Margaret, which I didn’t think was possible. She came in here asking me when I divorced Josie.”

“Josie? Leo, after all these years?,” Tommy grinned. “When were ya gonna to tell me ya married your sister?”

“Gets worse, ‘cause then she asked me when I married Mallory!”

“Your sister and your daughter? Cad,” he winked.

“I’m telling you, you nearly scared her to death. I think she was on the verge of losing it,” Leo laughed.

“Well, she wasn't the only one who nearly lost it. I had to pull my ID out four times before they'd let me past the front security check-point. Then they followed me all the way here.” 

“A little confused as to why I checked into the building at six this morning, never checked out, and was standing in front of them telling them my name was Tommy Mullaney?” 

“Somethin’ like that.” 

“Yeah, well.”

Margaret had witnessed their exchange and thought it eerily familiar, though Leo’s verbal sparring partner was normally the President of the United States. Looking for an explanation, she interrupted. “Ahem, excuse me, Leo?”

“Oh yeah, sorry, Margaret. The name of the guy who looks just like me? Tommy Mullaney, my cousin.”

“He looks just like you.”

“I've heard. You can go now.”

“How could your cousin look just like you?”

“Freaks of Nature,” Leo answered.

“Hey, who you callin' freaks?” an indignant Tommy complained.

“Our parents.” 

“Oh,” he stopped. “Yeah. Okay.”

“All right, then. Well, that explains that,” she added sarcastically. “I guess if you need me I’ll just be over here.”

“Go, do a job would ya?”

“Oh, like I haven’t been doing that for decades,” Margaret mumbled as she turned and went back to her desk. 

“She’s pretty funny, Leo.”

”Yeah, a whole barrel of laughs.” As Leo finished hanging his cousin’s jacket, the door to the Oval Office opened. Jed Bartlet stepped through, carrying what appeared to be a file with several reports attached. Not noticing Leo behind him, he walked to the front of the desk where Tommy was standing. 

“Leo, I need you to give me those figures on the Walker Bill again. I don't come up with the same . . .” He looked up from the papers he was carrying and pointed, “What are you wearing?” 

Tommy glanced down, and then toward Leo who just shrugged his shoulders. “Um, clothes.”

“When did you change into a sweater, Leo?”

“Well, Sir, truth be known, I’m not . . .” he tried.

“Leo, you never wear sweaters . . . I mean, you wear sweaters, but you’re never in casual clothes during the day.” The President looked at Tommy who was shaking his head, trying hard to come up with a logical explanation. “Oh, forget it. What are the figures as you see them?”

“Well, Sir, um . . . I'm not sure,” Tommy replied as he tucked the visitor’s pass into his pants pocket.

“What do you mean you're not sure?”

“Have I ever seen those figures?” he answered, quickly skimming the papers in the President’s hand.

Jed Bartlet stared at Tommy over the top of his glasses. “This is the report you handed me less than an hour ago, right?”

“If you say so, Sir.”

“Leo? Are you all right?”

“Well, I do feel a bit out of . . .,” he stopped and shot a quick look at Leo. “Well, yes, Sir, I guess I’m okay.”

“Leo, if you’re not feeling well, maybe you should go home.”

“Oh no, Sir. I’m sure I’ll be back to normal in a few minutes.” Leo’s grin was all the encouragement Tommy needed.

Margaret returned with a letter in her hand, and was soon joined by Josh, who stopped next to her and Tommy. “What the hell?” he glanced at Margaret, who just shrugged her shoulders. 

Looking at the four of them, Leo could barely contain himself. He was having way too much fun with this. He motioned for Margaret to keep quiet, and true to her nature, his assistant immediately picked up on her boss' signal. You don’t work with a person for as long as we’ve worked together without developing a bit of a short-hand, she thought. Margaret turned to Tommy and began, “Um. Leo. I need you to sign this for me.”

Josh tried hard not to stare at either Tommy or Leo for too long. He didn’t know who this guy that looked like Leo was, and wasn’t sure exactly what was going on, but had caught Leo’s signal as well. He put on his best “I don’t have a clue” face, knowing that Margaret of all people wouldn’t do anything to anger their boss . . . unless, of course, it was absolutely necessary. This didn’t appear to be one of those times, and since he certainly didn’t want to spoil the fun they seemed to be having, he simply observed. 

“What is it, Margaret?” Tommy questioned.

Bless his soul, Leo thought, Tommy was always such a quick study. Of course, he'd had a lot of practice. They had both been doing this since they were little kids. 

“It's the letter you dictated to me this morning. Remember, you asked me to type it up to send to the Appropriations Committee?” Margaret replied. “You need to sign it.”

“Oh, yeah, um, okay. Margaret, are you sure you want me to sign that?” Tommy asked.

“Yeah, I'm sure. Are you sure?” she questioned.

“Well, no. Not really.” Forgery wasn’t really his strong suit and signing this paper could be misconstrued if it ever got out of the room.

Jed peeled off his glasses and waved them at the man in front of him. “Leo, what’s going on? I mean, have you had a brain transplant or what?”

“Well, sort of . . . I, um, guess . . . in a manner of speaking, Sir,” Tommy admitted.

Toby and C.J. walked into the Chief of Staff’s office just in time to hear the President in full shout mode. “For God’s sake, Leo! What the hell is wrong with you?” he bellowed.

The First Lady had been listening to the growing ruckus through the door, and joined Leo from the Oval Office. She immediately picked up on the game when she saw both Leo and Tommy together. Leo glanced over at her as he held his hand over his mouth, trying not to laugh out loud, the tears brimming in his eyes threatening to pour out at any moment. 

As the confusion continued unabated, Abbey whispered into her friend’s ear, “If you don't stop this soon, he's going to stroke-out!”

“Okay, okay,” he replied. “I'll see what I can do.” Leo slowly made his way over to his best friend. Standing slightly behind and to the right of the President, he picked up on the conversation and waited.

“Leo, what has gotten into you?” A thousand things ran through the President’s mind, but what came out was only slightly inflammatory. “You haven't received any ‘special,’ unsolicited brownies or anything like that have you?”

Tommy thought for a moment, and then realized what the President was insinuating. "Oh no, Sir,” he said innocently as he glanced at Leo, who was now standing directly behind the President. “Besides, I always have Margaret try out anything I receive from unsolicited sources, just to make sure. If she doesn’t get the munchies, I figure it’s okay.” Tommy could tell that the man standing before him was on the verge of ordering him for a psychiatric exam, so he decided now was the time to give him a reason. “I mean, that's part of why she’s my assistant, right? Like Medieval times, the person who tastes everything for the King, ya know, just in case it’s drugged. Or poisoned?" 

"LEO!" 

"Sir, you don't have to shout. I'm right here," Leo advised from behind. 

Jed spun around and came face-to-face with his Chief of Staff. The room erupted with uncontrolled laughter as the President looked between the two “Leo’s.” Knowing that he'd been had, Jed's face broke into a lopsided grin as he turned back to the man he'd been addressing. “Tommy. Damn you. You just stood there and let me go on and on, didn't you?" 

"You've always been very good at goin’ on and on, Mr. President," he laughed. “As far as I’m concerned, Sir, there’s none better.” 

“Uh huh. And you!” Jed scolded as he turned back to Leo. “My supposed best friend. You just stood back there enjoying my frustration, didn't you?" 

“Why yes, Sir, I did.” There were very few instances lately where Leo had a clear upper hand on the President, which made this little exchange that much more enjoyable.

“You’re lucky I didn’t have a stroke right here on the spot. That would have fixed your wagon, wouldn’t it?”

“Oh yes, Sir. Fixed indeed.”

Abbey had been observing the scene in front of her with great amusement. As she moved toward her husband, she interjected, “Leo, part of your staff looks slightly dumbfounded. Perhaps you should explain who this is, and why Jed may have mistaken him for you.”

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right. Josh Lyman, Deputy Chief of Staff, Claudia Jean Cregg, C.J., White House Press Secretary, Toby Ziegler, White House Communications Director. You’ve already met Margaret. Everyone, this is Tommy Mullaney, my cousin." 

"He looks just like you," Margaret reiterated. 

"You really think so?" Tommy asked with a side-ways grin. “I think I'm much better lookin’ than him.” Leo rolled his eyes, a look that suggested this wasn’t the first time he’d heard that remark. Tommy sighed, “Well, at least I'm younger." 

"Yeah, by a whole five minutes," Leo scoffed. 

"Five minutes is five minutes." 

"Mmm hmm. So the next question my staff has for us is how can we be cousins and look exactly alike?" 

"Yeah, not like it’s the first time that question’s been asked, is it, Leo?" 

"Tommy? You want to explain? Or do you want me to give them your standard answer and ask, ‘Ever seen The Patty Duke Show?‘" 

"Well, it was just like our life, wasn’t it Leo?” he tried.

“Not even close. That was a television show, this is reality.”

“Yeah, yeah. Okay, so it’s like this,” Tommy turned his attention back to the staff. “My mom and Leo’s mom were twin sisters, and our fathers were first cousins to each other. Not with our mother’s family of course, but you know, of another family. A family in the same neighborhood as theirs. I mean it wasn’t incestuous or anything like that. I mean, well, ya know what I mean.” Tommy grinned, “And rumor has it, both Leo and I were conceived on the same night." 

Leo shrugged his shoulders at his staff. "Quirks of Nature." 

"Now our parents were quirks?" Tommy asked.

"I told you, the parents were freaks, we're the quirks." 

“Got it.” A look of mischief came over Tommy’s face. “‘Course, there’s always the story that one of our fathers may have dallied that fateful evening."

“Tommy!” Leo admonished.

Jed had seen enough. “You two are obviously having a great deal of fun with this. Why don’t I come back?”

“No, Sir,” Leo shook his head, “it’s okay. I was looking at the same report just before you came in, so I think that I can answer any questions you have without too much of a problem. Should only take a few minutes. I hope.”

“All right then, let’s step into my office.” He turned to his wife, “Abbey?”

“I’m going to stay and chat with Tommy for a few minutes,” she said. 

“You sure you want to do that, Abbey?” Jed asked. “After all, he tried to impersonate a high ranking government official.”

“Beggin’ your pardon, Sir, but you were the one who assumed that I was a high rankin’ official. Couldn’t help but play along you know.”

“Yeah, yeah. Okay.” Jed faced his amused Chief of Staff, “Leo shall we?”

Leo turned on his heel and made a grand gesture, waving his hand, “After you, Sir.”

“Write if you find work, Leo,” Tommy called behind him.

Tommy’s cousin grinned over his shoulder as he disappeared into the Oval Office. “Whateva,” Leo responded in his best Boston accent.


End file.
